Sensitive AND Resilient
I love the idea of going on a great adventure. But, apparently I love adventure when it's bound in the pages of a book or on the big screen but the thought of it being in my life is something else entirely. Case in point. Back in the winter I decided going to a remote part of Mexico that has no roads or vehicles and can only be reached by a 45 minute boat ride with a few dear friends was a great idea. I loved the idea of being in the jungle with open air palapas, no phones or wifi, no air conditioning and the feel of going back in time. Yes, I was elated at the idea of all of this until it was a few days away from actually embarking on the adventure and leaving all the modern comforts of the U. S. of A. behind. I've been in damn near panic mode this week thinking about the possibility of sweating. Or scorpions and mosquitos coming through my open air room and not having a quick and easy exit plan. I always have an exit plan.
You see, I've spent the past few years really embracing the fact that I'm highly sensitive and learning to allow myself comforts and luxuries even when it's more expensive or requires me to speak up for myself. Like yesterday when I was getting a pedicure and the sea salt on my legs was burning. In the past I would have endured the pain of the sting and abrasion to my sensitive skin. But not now. "That burns!" I asserted. "What?" she asked looking confused. "Stop. It hurts." I again asserted. See, I've learned to take care of my sensitive self. So, I decided I must cancel this adventure because I would never be able to keep myself comfortable when I was THAT far out of my comfort zone in the jungle.
It was decided and I had given myself permission to lose money and feel like a wilted orchid. It was decided...but it wasn't over. Later that morning during meditation, my wise woman self swooped in. She assured me that, yes I'm highly sensitive and what a gift that is. But she also reminded me that I'm also highly resilient and that OUT of my comfort zone is exactly where growth and adventure will be found. She reminded me that being in nature, truly back to the land, in a village where people are living a basic life and the only tweeting is coming from birds is what my soul needs for a week. And then she also reminded me, that I am staying in at an eco retreat center with organic sheets and fresh vegetarian food and an infinity pool...she may have even rolled her eyes a little bit at my drama. And so, I snapped out of it. I'm now less than 24 hours away from lift off. I'm truly excited for the growth and expansion this trip will bring. Thank you wise woman self for the reality check.