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Victims, Vulnerability & Stoicism

Inspirational quotes about letting go of the past, not being a victim and moving on have always been the kind of mantras that played in my head. But now I’m recognizing there is an entire demographic of us stoics who actually need to put it in reverse, review our past and perhaps even acknowledge we have been (gulp) victims. Many of us have been victims of dysfunctional families and emotional neglect and abuse. And we learned to toughen up and protect ourselves early in life with the very specific intent of never, ever being a victim. We are the ones who have kept our hands on our bootstraps in a perpetual upward motion determined to keep moving forward, without a trace of emotion or compla

The Insane Brain

When I was a young grad student studying to be a counselor, never once was it mentioned that my clients would have brains and bodies. Now as a therapist with a couple of decades of practice under my belt, having a client tune into their body and helping them understand how their brain works is one of my first steps in the therapeutic process. With my focus being on addiction and trauma, it's even more critical that these two steps occur. The field of neuroscience is helping us understand how many addictive processes are started. The main points that I teach clients is that we come into the world with an innate, biological need for attachment to our primary caregiver who makes us feel unco

Sober Dancing...and it was fun.

Tears poured out of me as I swayed. Tears of joy. I was dancing at the She Recovers Retreat in the Berkshires. Sober! I was dancing sober. I assumed that dancing would go away forever when I first gave up drinking. I loved to dance when I was hammered. Of course it was never rhythmic or appealing to watch. Um, I know this, because I've seen some videos. Not pretty. What I've found with recovery (which has included doing a lot of deep healing work) is that as I've healed trauma, my body has gotten looser and more rhythmic. I'm not going to claim to be a great dancer now, but I do know that my body absolutely has a natural, primal rhythm to it that it craves getting back to. That rhythm was fr

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